The reality of my life

Okay so my life...where to start exactly. My life is a mess that is spinning out of control and I am losing everyone who means so much to me. My reality is trying to cope and understand the hell of living with Bi-Polar Disease. I guess you could say that I'm letting it run my life instead of me running it. It has caused me so much unnecessary hurt and tears. I am in love with a man I am close to losing or maybe I have already lost him. I have let my disease take an important person from me again. So how can I save the relationship that is so inportant to me? I have no idea. Accoring to the books I read I have to stay on my Medication, and this is so hard for me to do. I am the Queen of stopping the Medication. But to save my sanity and my relationship I am currently in I am going to take my Medication.

Need to be Postive

I have no idea what I am suppose to post in a blog. I have started it I guess to help me learn who I am and what I am supposed to do with my life. As of this moment I am with a man who I love very much, who I try to support in every way I can. I feel at times overwhelmed with stress and anxiety that some day's I just want to crawl in a ball and cry my eyes out, and when no one is looking sometimes I do. I need to be more positive about my life and live with less negativity. Sean my boyfriend tells me this over and over, but it's hard to do when things just aren't going in the direction one hoped for. It's also hard to do with little or no support system...