You Asked

Why I love someone (you). My meaning of love consits of reality, trust. When you are hurting, I'M HURTING, having a bad day I'M HAVING A BAD DAY.

Really you deleted me? I guess i made no impression on you over these last 5 years that you want to remember. I would never want to delete you from my life you were always the one who made me smile, even when I wanted to cry! We have been through much that wouldn't change any of it for the world, even the shitty parts of what we had. You taught me so much and showed me a part of life that I never knew was there. We were always good together, I wish I knew how it all got so fucked up with us, or when. I wish we could start over so that we could save us in the end of all this hell we know as love. Loading you belongings into your car was like I was losing you all over again, I feel like I have lost you so many times, and it gets harder every time never easier! You tell me your hurting but i would never know it from watching you. You never seem to be anything other than happy, it's me how is a wreck inside and out! I'm always the one who is left heart broken and alone, standing and barely breathing. Wishing that I could stop the pain I get shooting through my chest, wanting to end it all for good. Death seems like it would bring so much peace to my soul, it sounds almost inviting...

The Month of September Has in Store

The new Moon at the end of August occurs in your work and health zone and this cautions you in the first few days of September to be mindful of not overloading yourself. Excellent aspects from Venus and the Sun provide you with a spate of opportunities, but you may also overestimate yourself and this can lead to exhaustion, perhaps even to breaking point, particularly between the 3rd and the 7th.

Your conduct will be under scrutiny between the 9th and the 12th. You’ll need to adjust your behaviour so that it is in keeping with what others expect of you. Rather than seeing this as some sort of ball and chain, you might like to try acting your way through the event to see what sort of reactions you get from others. Regard this as an educational cycle for self-development.

For things to change, and they will, particularly after the 12th, you have to employ a ruthless attitude by giving up the old to make way for the new. Your style of communication could drastically change at this point in time, and others may not feel altogether comfortable about this new approach you adopt. After the 15th, however, you’ll be surprised that others may start to offer you considerably more respect.

There’s nothing worse than having someone correct what you consider to be good work. After the 19th there may be a necessity to make repairs, clean up and restore some of the work you’ve done before, not because of your own desires, but because someone else regards your work as sub-standard. Conversely, it is possible that those you employ to do certain work for you could themselves be cutting corners, and this could lead you into a confrontation.

You have to detach yourself if you are to make correct judgments after the 23rd. You have to integrate your vision and understanding of others through reflection, self-awareness and a deep, unbiased self-interrogation. By the 26th, these internal manoeuvres will bring you to a new light of understanding orrealisation, which can be transposed to your working life, into relationships and personal friendships as well.

Progress after the 28th can certainly be made but you mustn’t be in a hurry to get to the finishing line. This will only create errors, and result in poor approval ratings for you. The most likely way that you can achieve the results that you want is through a steady and measured approach. Between the 29th and the 30th your relationships will be a little less than exciting but you mustn’t let this deter you from expressing your love. You need to cultivate patience with your loved one until they feel a little more comfortable in reciprocating and demonstrating their love for you.

This could be a profound period of the year when your dreams or insights inspire your creativity and your sense of love and companionship. From the 1st to the 3rd you need to act upon those vivid flashes of imagination.  By trying something different, pampering your partner and approaching your romantic life in a slightly different way, you will enliven your love life.

From the 4^th to the 9^th your sense of adventure will cause you to drop everything at a moment’s notice and do something that is liberating, exciting and out of the norm.  You could be feeling wild and want to try something that may not be culturally acceptable

You could take some pleasurable family trips with relatives and loved ones from the 10^th to the 14th.  You may also express your creativity in the kitchen, through cooking or beautifying your surroundings.  The interior designer in you will come to the fore.

Don’t let confusion dominate you between the 16th and the 22nd.  If you are not feeling clear on what others are trying to persuade you to do you should gracefully decline the invitation.

rom the 23^rd to the 28th you will be able to share your interests with your spouse or lover in greater measure.  It could be that there will be a cross over in your intellectual interests and your general pursuits.

Sometime around the 29^th a platonic relationship could undergo some challenges.  You will feel short changed if a friend is nonchalant or insensitive to your desire to improve relations.  You can’t be everything to all people.

Expect a pleasant time in your romantic and social dealings on the 30^th and 31st.  Issues of loyalty, commitment and trust could resurface if you have been having some doubts about these matters.  Lay your cards on the table and ask your partner to do the same.

How Your Criminal Record Can be Found

Privacy is a thing of the past, at any moment anyone can find out just what you have been up too. It may be time consuming but you can have information on just about anyone. Because knowing who your daughter is dating or if your child's Little League Coach has ever had any indiscretions.

 Just how easy is it to obtain a person's criminal records?
http://www.bukisa.com/articles/360957_how-your-criminal-record-can-be-found

How to Clear Your Criminal Record: A Step-By-Step Guide

Lunar Love Horoscope for Taurus

Flights of Fancy
Week of June 4 - 6
The weekend starts all sweet and squishy with the Moon in super-sensitive Pisces and passionate Mars opposite surreal Neptune on Friday. This emotional dreaminess definitely puts a dash of romance in the air and encourages escapes from reality. Fantasy plays an important role in intimate matters now, raising relationships from their predictable routine to higher levels of inspiration. Stretching the boundaries of imagination can rekindle the spark in a less-than-thrilling partnership. On the other hand, the lure of a new person in these fuzzy circumstances can overcome good judgment. Enjoy the flights of fancy and the pleasures of the heart that are unfolding now, but don't count on this as the right time to build a solid foundation.
Emotions are tender on Saturday as the Moon continues to float through adaptable Pisces. But in the wee hours of Sunday morning, the Moon rams into fiery Aries, burning away the vulnerability and the instinct to give ground to gain intimacy. This is a time when self-interest emerges and the drive to move forward overcomes the need to feel cozy. New and exciting activities, especially physical ones, are perfect for pioneering Aries. Impatience and spontaneity increase to bring passion to a higher level.

Windows Live Writer

Writing from Windows Live Writer!

This is my first post using Windows Live Writer, and looks to be much easier so far.  I’ll let you know as I continue to play with it, maybe this means I’ll post more?!?

Sell Your Attention

I found this cool site while I was surfing the net awhile ago that pays you to check out new sites. Advertisers pay this company YouData to allow them to refer you to their site. It takes a few mins. to fill out all the information about yourself, nothing personal just the normal questions about your likes and dislikes. This way you only get ads. that fit you, that you would be interested in looking at closely.


I haven't made much money, most ads are under a dollar and only a few at a time. You really do get paid within a day or two into your paypal account. The only thing that sucks is that when you go and log in there is no guraentee you will have any offers. It's not much money but it's so easy and fun!

The company's name is YouData (youdata.com). They are trying to convince consumers like us that we should be the ones controlling our own data and selling our own attention, not third parties like broadcasters, newspapers, and spammers. By creating a MeFile at YouData.com, I now control what ads I see and when I see them. Best part - I am selling my attention directly to interested advertisers, for real money. That's right, I get paid for giving them my attention. I can use the funds to buy music and video online, donate to charities, give to my favorite blogs and websites, or keep the change myself and do whatever I want with it.

It's real. They pay. You should check it out.
Click this link to sign up. My MeFile ID, dozertruck, in the "Referral Code" will tell them I sent you.
http://www.youdata.com/join/dozertruck


What do you have to lose...

Being BiPolar

I was diagnosed about 5 years ago when I was hospitalized for my first suicide attempt. I never really understood what it was I was going through. Growing up I was a happy child got along with everyone. As I got older things changed a little but I figured it was because I wasn't as active as I was, and I was in college trying to be an adult. I only had a mild case until I turned 25 years old and I lost someone who meant the world to me. I wanted to get married but he has already gone down that road and was not anxious to do it again. I lost him in November of 2005 when he took a shot gun to his chin. There were no signs that this would happen and I somewhat blamed myself even though I know I had nothing to do with it and I couldn't have stopped it. I chose not to deal with it and I shut down completely and turned to drugs to numb the feelings. I lost my job, my friends, and almost my family; I lost faith in everything.

I have done the medication roller coaster and still knowing where it leads I continue to take myself off of them. "Mania" is my favorite, the feeling of living your life instead of not feeling! Full of energy and ideas to change the world, but I have noticed that my "mania" does not last as long as it used to and my "mania" is the wreaking ball of my life and the relationships in it. Still even knowing this I allow it to take over my life with no intentions of stopping.
I am looking for alternatives to medication, I do not handle the numbing feeling very well. I have always be an emotional person, being able to express myself through the way I feel; medication for me stops me from feeling anything...

Bring the readers to you

Since I don't have a job to wake up for each morning and go to I started writing online to help bring in extra money. It's hard sometimes trying to come up with things to write about, as you can see here on my blog (I don't post enough cuz I never know what to post) I do a lot of web surfing. I enjoy it actually, finding information for things I never knew I wanted to know about. Most of it helpful and some of it not. When you write for sites that pay you you have to find ways to bring readers to read what you wrote; that can be difficult sometimes. Finding helpful site that sort of do the work of bring readers to you is nice information to find. LinkReferral.com is a site that does just that. Not only does it bring readers to you but it also brings information you didn't know you needed to you. When you sign up (free) you are added into the members directory ready to be found by someone in need of what you have to offer. It is all up to you as far as what you want to get out of using this site, the more you participate the more you get in return. Receive ranking credit based on how many sites you chose to visit and review for other members each day.

Vindale Research

While I was searching for random stuff online to make extra money I came across Vindale Research.
This great site gives you cash for your opinion on new products, services, and websites. They reward you for each evaluation and survey you complete, and you can even choose to keep the products you review! The surveys are really easy, and the membership is FREE. You have the option of having your payment mailed to your home or deposited into your PayPal account. I have made over $100 with taking on 5 surveys. They personalize the survey to fit you, so they aren't a waste of time like so many other site.

If your interested check it out with the link below
tryvindale.com/VnF1b2stm

.. --> m -->http://halturnershow.blogspot.com/2008/ ... efore.html.. --> m -->


CONFIRMED:
U.S. GOV'T WILL COLLAPSE BEFORE SUMMER 2009; WILL REPUDIATE NATIONAL
DEBT; ISSUE NEW CURRENCY AND DEVALUE "OLD DOLLARS" BY 90%
I have confirmed that the United States federal government will financially collapse "before summer 2009."

Long time listeners to my radio show will recall that as early as September
5, 2007, over one year ago, I warned my audience on the air, that this
was coming.

I announced during that same radio show that the US
government was secretly minting new currency, THE AMERO and revealed a
plot to intentionally bankrupt the United States to force integration
with Canada and Mexico. Once merged, the US Canada and Mexico would be
a new entity called the North American Union. (You may listen to an
archive of that show, from over a year ago, by clicking HERE)

According
to a Bulletin issued out of Cannes, France, the collapse will come
"before summer 2009" because the U.S. can no longer make payments on
its national debt.

According to "Lettre Confidentielle de
LEAP/E2020" the US economy, now in deep recession, will collapse. The
resulting lack of tax revenues will make it impossible for the federal
government to pay even the interest on its ten trillion dollar national
debt.

On October 16, 2008, the "Global-Europe Anticipation
Bulletin" told its subscribers that the present U.S. Dollar will be
demonetized and a new currency imposed. "Old dollars" will be devalued
by ninety percent (90%)

When the collapse occurs, countries
around the world will immediately stop accepting our money. That means
imports will dry up very quickly -- including food and oil imports.

Lets talk oil first

The
United States uses 18 million barrels of oil each day. We produce 5
million barrels a day of our own oil and import 13 million barrels a
day from around the world.

Right now, our strategic petroleum
reserve has 701 million barrels of oil in storage. When the world stops
accepting our currency and stops shipping oil to us, we will have to
draw down on the strategic petroleum reserve by 13 million barrels per
day. We will run out of oil in 59 days.

No oil means no gasoline for cars; no diesel fuel for trucks.

Everything
in this nation, except electricity and natural gas, is transported by
truck. No diesel fuel means no products being shipped. . . . .
including food.

Now lets talk food

After our oil reserves run out in 59 days, trucks will have no fuel. No fuel means no food gets delivered anywhere.

Here
in the New York City area, our supermarkets have about three days worth
of food in stock. They must get deliveries almost every day to feed the
population.

So . . . . . the oil reserves run out in 59 days, the supermarkets are empty 3 days later. What do you think is going to happen?

Complete Social Collapse and anarchy

The
cities will disintegrate into complete chaos first. Roving bands of
savages will break into homes looking to eat. If you cannot protect
yourself, they will take your food.

Once the cities are emptied
of food, the savages will come to the suburbs. Small local police
departments will be instantly overwhelmed. Calling 911 will be useless.

If folks in the suburbs cannot protect themselves, the savages will take their food too.

Ultimately, people will start killing each other for food.

No Government money means no welfare checks, no food stamps.

When
this collapse happens because the government is totally broke, the
welfare checks will stop. Almost immediately thereafter, civil unrest
will erupt and we know who will be doing that. . . . don't we?

Now
you know why Barak Obama is being pushed so hard for President. The
powers-that-be know what's coming and they want a black man in the
White House with the hope he can control "his" people. It won't work.
They'll just call him an Uncle Tom or an OREO cookie and then go on
their merry way to rape, rob, pillage, burn and kill.

In fact,
to prove I'm right about the Obama situation, check out what VP
candidate Senator Joe Biden said this past weekend. Biden 'guaranteed"
that Barak Obama "will be tested by an international crisis within his
first six months in power and he will need supporters to stand by him
as he makes tough, and possibly unpopular, decisions." Telling us all
that we're going to lose 90% of the value of our life savings sure will
be unpopular.

I wonder if the Secret Service agents who lose
their life savings too, will bother protecting Obama from
assassination; or might they kill him themselves? After all, the
Zapruder film proves the secret service agent driving John F. Kennedy
in Dallas, turned around and shot him in the head. That's why his wife,
Jacqueline Kennedy, tried climbing out of the back of the limo after it
happened! She saw who shot her husband. It happened once, it can happen
again!

What to do right now

1) If you live in a city,
make plans to get out when all hell breaks loose. Arrange a place to
stay with relatives or friends far away from the city because the
cities will be deadly.

2) Start storing food. Don't wait. You
have less than 6 months before the shit hits the fan. Buy canned foods
because they stay fresh a long time. Buy SEVERAL 50 lb bags of rice,
SEVERAL 50 lb bags of oatmeal and store them. Make sure you have lots
of flour and yeast to bake your own bread. Have supplies of sugar, salt
and the like. Buy powedered milk that can be mixed with water to create
real milk. Refill your propane tank for your grill and maybe get some
spare tanks. Do not store propane inside your house because it can
explode.

3) This Christmas, forget buying presents; buy a gun or
two and ammunition. Ideally you should have one handgun for each older
teenager/adult in your home. You should also have at least one 12 gauge
shotgun and one hunting rifle such as a .308 or 30-30. Teach everyone
in your family how to use them. Make certain your children understand
these are not toys and that in apartment buildings and condos, bullets
can go through walls and kill innocent people. We don;t want that so
make sure you teach your kids well. You're going to need guns to fend
off the savages that come to steal your food. You may also need a rifle
to hunt for food yourself.

4) Buy a gravity-fed water filter so you have clean water for drinking and cooking.

5) Stock up on any prescription drugs you MUST have to live.

6)
If you have never hunted for food and don't know how to gut, clean and
prepare freshly killed animals, LEARN. Get a couple books and LEARN.

7)
Start talking to your neighbors about what's coming. Since the police
will be totally overwhelmed, form local neighborhood defense groups.
Get CB radios or Family Radio Service radios so you and your neighbors
can call each other for help immediately. If the bad guys come, call
out the whole neighborhood and use all deliberate force to repel the
invaders. Don't be afraid to shoot and kill. The savages won't be
afraid to do it to you!

Folks, this is the absolute worst news I
have ever delivered to my readers. I shudder at what's coming. If we
hope for the best but also plan for the worst, we might. . . . . just
might. . . . get through this alive.

Please spread the word to prepare for this coming disaster. Europeans are already planning for it.

Final analysis

How
we got to this point is simple: The United States federal government
and in particular, the Congress, systematically and deliberately
overspent our nation into oblivion. Our own government wrecked our
nation.

In order that WE THE PEOPLE can bring justice to our
elected officials, I am publishing the private home addresses of all
members of the United States House of Representatives and the United
States Senate.

Under our Constitution, they hold the purse
strings. They are the only branch of government that can tax, spend or
incur debt. Sure, they blame Presidents - that's politics. But the
Constitution makes clear that congress and ONLY congress deals with
money.

If you would like to know where your U.S. congressman and
U.S. senators live so that you can "pay them a visit" after they
devalue your life savings by 90%, I will provide their home address to
you.

To get the home addresses of your congressman and senators, send an e-mail to:
.. --> e -->wheretheylive@optonline.net.. --> e --> and I will tell you how to get the info

Is it possible

I don't know how realiable this info is but some of it has happned already so I think everyone should at least read it.
THIS IS A POST FROM www.2012forum.com
i felt like sharing with you all... i know it is often unpleasent and
even scary to think about what is happening in this world. shun it,
dont believe it. thats fine but realize... it doesnt hurt to be
prepared...

Hi all,
This might be the last thing I ever post on here but I need to warn you all. I have been
with LAPD for a while and have learned alot of things. One of them is
to be a little more independent. Don't put 100 % faith in other humans
to take care of you. And yes that means the government 2. Well because
things have gotten so bad in LA (Officers being shot at up 39 % in
2007) I decided to move to Idaho. And I love it by the way. Anyway what
I'm going to say might shock you or even scare you, but please
understand that fear does nothing but makes things worse kinda like
stress. So instead of worrying do something to fix it. Remember there's
no problems only solutions. This morning I got a call from my uncle who
is very high up in the military and he told me to leave the city now. I
hardly ever talk to him so he was unaware that I had already left LA.
But he seemed very concerned but refused to tell me why. After about 20
minutes he told me the very basics. The first thing he said was to buy
as much can food and water as possible. The second was to stock up on
ammo. I have already stacked up on ammo because I knew it would become
very expensive later and in LA there was a 1 year wait for .223 bullets
for my AR15. But I was still very confused as to why he's calling out
of the blue and telling me these things. Well what he said next is
something the american people aren't suppose to know. He told me that
there is an actual plan as to when the economy will completely crash.
As of right now he said it will happen in the middle of sept of this
year. Also he said that our Government will crash in Feb of 2009. He
said that Mexico and Canada will merge with us and that a new dollar
called the Amero is going to replace the dollar. But the most scary
thing is what he told me he's been doing for the past couple of years.
He's been overseeing the construction of Prison Camps being built all
through out America. He said a Private company called Haliburton is
building them. He told me that 1 camp in Alaska can hold 2 million
people and there's almost 1000 camps in the USA. ( not including the
ones underground) He also said that these will be used when they
declare Martial Law. There's some more things but I promised him I
would never repeat them. But just knowing that this could even be
possible makes me say to myself " why not buy an extra 20 or 30 bucks
of food I can store" each time I go shopping. I had about 2 weeks worth
because in California you never know when that next big earthquake can
hit not to mention the last year and a half we have been training on
how to handle food riots in LA.( By the way the first step in the LAPD
process is to stand back and observe)
end quote .

Be Understood | counselor.org

Be Understood | counselor.org
Great site for everything therapy and help!

I hate that I love you...

I really don't like it when we fight, you think that I do. I don't like feeling like this all the time. I don't need for you to full fill my life but I do need you. I don't feel that's it's asking to much to have your full attention with no interruptions. You are living two separate lives and your slowly disconnecting from ours. I don't want to lose you and I don't want to hate you either. I want there to be trust and understanding, love and no heart ache. I'm not here for any other reason other tha you and your heart. I wish you would believe in me that much, I would never do you wrong like everyone else. I have never left your side, leaving you alone. I said that I would be here no matter what happens and I always mean what I say!
You always keep me in the dark. I remember when you told me everything that was on your mind. We had no secrets, now it's only lies. I feel like an outsider looking in on someone who has pulled away. Who gave up long ago.
You make me feel like I'm don't belong in your world. You are so different now and you don't see it. Your blinded by what the scum feed you. Instead of being the man who took my heart so long ago, you have become a person I don't know. It's not hard to love someone, it's hard to hurt someone! Will you ever be able to understand what goes through my mind? To see where I'm coming from, be in my shoes. Always waiting for someone who always walks away. Never taking part of the blame and never wanting to mend the pain.
I shouldn't have to do this alone...feel like I feel...what has become of the one who has my heart?

The reality of my life

Okay so my life...where to start exactly. My life is a mess that is spinning out of control and I am losing everyone who means so much to me. My reality is trying to cope and understand the hell of living with Bi-Polar Disease. I guess you could say that I'm letting it run my life instead of me running it. It has caused me so much unnecessary hurt and tears. I am in love with a man I am close to losing or maybe I have already lost him. I have let my disease take an important person from me again. So how can I save the relationship that is so inportant to me? I have no idea. Accoring to the books I read I have to stay on my Medication, and this is so hard for me to do. I am the Queen of stopping the Medication. But to save my sanity and my relationship I am currently in I am going to take my Medication.

Need to be Postive

I have no idea what I am suppose to post in a blog. I have started it I guess to help me learn who I am and what I am supposed to do with my life. As of this moment I am with a man who I love very much, who I try to support in every way I can. I feel at times overwhelmed with stress and anxiety that some day's I just want to crawl in a ball and cry my eyes out, and when no one is looking sometimes I do. I need to be more positive about my life and live with less negativity. Sean my boyfriend tells me this over and over, but it's hard to do when things just aren't going in the direction one hoped for. It's also hard to do with little or no support system...